Sunday, September 11, 2016

PSA: All you need to know about Duromine

Hi everyone. I know I haven't written anything in a long time. Well, that's cause I'm kinda busy here: @ladynomnom but after 41 emails, I decided that it's time to have a little FAQ about this little pill:

Duromine
Not even gonna give you a real image of the damn pill
Quite frankly I'm sick of the emails. Some from well-informed folks, some from skinny but wanna be skinnier folks, some from ignorant folks who DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER READING THE PREVIOUS BLOG POST PROPERLY. So, cause I'm so damn nice, I'm going to reiterate and go through some basics:

DUROMINE FAQ

Q: Is Duromine a diet pill?
A: No. It is an appetite suppressant. In simple English: It makes you not hungry.

Q: Wait, then so do people like it so much?
A: Because when you don't have an appetite, you don't eat, when you don't eat, you lose weight.

Q: That's great! Then isn't that the best thing ever?! Shouldn't I just get it now?!
A: No. Because first: can you already control your appetite? If so, then why the fuck do you want it? You wanna be thin? THEN...


Q: But... but I really really need it... Please tell me where I can get it?
A: I told you specifically in my previous post that I WON'T tell you where you can get it cause I don't want to be liable to any of your problems. If you really must know, this is a prescribed medicine, so only your doctor can give it to you. 

Q: Which doctor did you get it from then?
A: Are you seriously asking me for my doctor's address?? Don't you have a doctor? Let me tell you, it's at several neighbour clinics around Singapore. So your doctor will prescribe to you if you meet the necessary requirements.

Q: What requirements do you need?
A: Simple. Be overweight. Yep that's right. You ACTUALLY NEED TO BE FAT. Look. I can't deal with people's insecurities, simply because I've tried to sympathise but it usually ends with me being an enabler, so I'm gonna slap some sense into you: if your BMI is fine, YOU'RE NOT OVERWEIGHT. If you still feel insecure, you need help, not a physical makeover. There are no ugly people, there are only lazy people.

Q: Fuck you! Then why did you take it!
A: Cause my doctor prescribed it to me. It worked. But not for long.

Q: What do you mean? Are there side effects?
A: DUH. That's why it's a prescribed medicine! Here are the side effects:
- heart palpitations
- dry mouth 
- headaches
- buzzing in your ears
- insomnia
- restlessness
- constipation
Those are just the ones I got. There are more. It is also potentially addictive.

Q: Were they worth the side effects?
A: That depends. See, it worked. It lessened my appetite, but that came with a price (see side effects) and I felt really exhausted. After a week of intense weight-loss from basically starving myself (I ate just one sandwich the whole day and only had water) and exhaustion thanks to the insomnia, I had enough. I took it only twice a week. That brought my weight up. Then I coupled with exercise (work out on days when you don't take the pill), and that was a slow, healthy way to lose weight. I was fine for a while. Then after the wedding, I stopped the pill, I stopped exercising and it all came back. At the end of the day, Duromine is an AID to a healthy lifestyle, a catalyst or a push rather than a lifelong solution. At the end of the day it is up to you to really maintain and take care of your body.

Q: You convinced me. I want it. Can you sell it to me?
A: DID YOU NOT READ ANYTHING I JUST WROTE? NO. GO TO YOUR DOCTOR YOU NITWITTED, STUBBORN, WASTREL, LAZY, ILLETERATE, INCOMPETENT FOOL.

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